Attending church alone after bereavement: Edwina’s story
Attending church after bereavement can be very challenging for many who are widowed. Edwina from St Nic’s Church in Nottingham shares her story with us of navigating this journey.
“Facing the world in bereavement is a bit like looking down into a cold, but inviting, swimming pool wondering if it will be ok once you’ve jumped in and got used to the invigorating water. Or at least, that’s how I see it. I am reasonably confident, so I realise I have nothing to lose but I meet many who are not so keen to go anywhere on their own, let alone church.
Churches seem full of couples and families, all pleasant and friendly and that’s great but having been part of that in the past, to suddenly find that I was faced with a different kind of life, especially when I felt I was too young to be widowed, was challenging. That was 12 years ago.
You never stop grieving for a loved one but for me, friendship, acceptance and finding a sense of belonging amongst people who have the same Christian faith as me goes a long way to help healing. I hadn’t been to church for a long time and my faith had been flagging because of what I have been through. Sincere friends, Christians themselves, were there for me but it has taken me a long time to come back to God.
I felt befriended as soon as I walked into St Nic’s and I was also delighted to see much going on that interested me. It has given me confidence to see that this is a congregation that is sensitive to such issues along with its care for the whole community, many with more challenges to face than my own. I have been coming to the church for almost a year now and I am settling in very happily. It’s been lovely to meet such a friendly, kind and compassionate group of people. I am especially moved by your awareness that it is, indeed quite challenging for a widowed person of a certain age to walk into a church on her own, as it is difficult to walk through any door on her own. We know we have to do it and it does mean we have to get through our own barriers of anxiety and lack of confidence.”
Edwina, St Nic’s Nottingham
We are so grateful to Edwina for sharing her experience with us. If your church is looking at how to support those who are widowed, we recommend resources from Loss and Hope, as well as our own resources for becoming a Single Friendly Church.
“You never stop grieving for a loved one but for me, friendship, acceptance and finding a sense of belonging amongst people who have the same Christian faith as me goes a long way to help healing”