Who should start a group?

Why not you? As a single Christian you will understand those who are in a similar situation. If you also possess good organisational skills, reliability and the capability to engage well with people, then you have what it takes to start or lead a group.

Firstly, it’s worth bearing in mind that, if your main aim is to meet a potential partner or just have fun, organising could get in the way.  But you could easily mitigate this by having a team around you to share the load. Secondly, you need to be focused on the needs of others, realising that ultimately your efforts are all part of building God’s Kingdom.  

Here we outline some of the personal and team qualities that will help you to succeed.

Check what you can achieve

Being a leader can be time-consuming so it’s worth checking what you can and want to achieve:

  • Do a vision check – if you opt for an informal monthly get-together, make sure you don’t end up organising a costly ball. Don’t be afraid to say no and let others who want such events to use their initiative.
  • Do a time check – make sure you have sufficient time to fulfil your obligations and have fun yourself.
  • Do a finance check – estimate what your chosen events will cost you. Regular restaurant meetings will mean that you may spend more money on meals out and travel. For more formal events there may be deposits to pay and marketing costs.

Set boundaries

Setting boundaries on your vision, time and finance will protect your well-being and enable you to have the energy to serve single Christians long term. Much better to start slowly, learn along the way and grow something sustainable than cast caution to the wind, end up exhausted, in debt and burnt-out.


Prayer is key to ensuring that you either get or keep this motive foremost. If possible, get your church and friends to provide prayer and practical support. Having their backing can prevent you feeling isolated. If this isn’t possible, having friends to whom you can talk with and get encouragement from can make a real difference.

Count the cost and go forward in hope

Although what you have read so far may seem negative, it is better to be forewarned and avoid the problems experienced by many single organisers over the years.  Organising a local group can have a positive impact on single people and counting the cost before starting will help you to succeed and be fulfilled while you are doing it.

Build a team to support you

Having a team to share responsibilities lets the leader and each helper have opportunities to be ‘off duty’ to focus on their own enjoyment and needs – building a social network and/or finding a potential partner.

It also means that you can have all the relevant skills within the team rather than needing to find them in just one person. They needn’t necessarily all be single themselves but would benefit from having positive singles working alongside them.

The section on Why not start your own local group provides tips and practical guidelines on the types and frequency of events that you might like to consider.